What else is there to do in college except drink beer or slit one's wrists?

I live on shameless flattery...and vodka...but the two usually go hand in hand.

It's meant I will act like less of an asshole, but feel much more like one.

Whenever I drink, I always have one too many. Of course, I only ever drink one.

There was nothing glorious about the life of a drinker or the life of a writer.

She was well primed with a good load of Delahunt's port under her bellyband.

A drunk can't follow a line of reasoning, even if it is a double white line.

Everyone is drinking. She can feel them out there drinking, turning into beasts.

An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.

Any connoisseur knows you've got to be drunk to really enjoy a good romance.

A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a ba

Alcohol lowered inhibitions. It didn't create impulses that weren't there.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.

For me to enjoy a salad, I need the right dressing. Vodka is salad dressing, right?