Used is to sued, as brick is to Kricb, and that is such a profound observation on my part that I’m afraid I don’t fully grasp it at the moment.


Without rules, there’d be nothing to break. Well, except glass, dance, and bricks. So I guess bricks could be stacked up in place of a list of rules.


A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you up about three inches.


Together a brick and a blanket create the perfect metaphor for life. Will you be a brick and make something of your life, or be a blanket and sleep your life away?

Blankets could be used as scapegoats for global warming. But why blame the blankets? Wouldn’t it be more fun, and more accurate, to blame politicians?


A blanket could be used to draw a map on—a treasure map, and not something Google has knowledge of. Want to know what’s under the X? My erection. 


The wall of silence that exists between us is as long as the Great Wall of China. And though it’s the same length, our wall is about two bricks quieter.


A brick and a blanket could be used to replace the words yes and no. But which is witch? You’ll have to burn me at the stake before I tell you anything. 


A brick could be used as a logo for a company called Blanket. A right turn signal in the left turn only lane could be used to represent a company called Brick.


Bricks could have been used to stop Napoleon’s army from advancing into Russia. And blankets could have been used to keep Napoleon rolling in victories. 


A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed to get second to last in my last race. 


A blanket could be used to wipe away my tears. But it’d better be a blanket the size of America, because I’ve been crying since Andrew Jackson died.


A blanket could be used to study the stars more thoroughly. I don’t know how exactly, because I’m not Stephen Hawking. Somebody get me a wheelchair.


A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)


A brick could be analyzed in the lab, broken down into olfactory components, and repackaged as an air freshener that promises that “new home” smell.