It happens to be one of those days when I see everybody in the family, including myself, through the wrong end of a telescope.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

When the food runs out, the family reunion is over. It’s cool that out of all my relatives, I’m the only cannibal.

The Bible says we're to be moderate in all things. It's good to help others but not at the expense of your own family.

Blood is thicker than water, I know, but it's unnatural stuff to drink so much of. (“The Wife Of Ted Wickham”)

Can the child who is Dell; be the outer emoodiment of man's quest to save himself? To cure himself?...Or, to "be" himself?

My sister and I are so close that we finish each other’s sentences and often wonder who’s memories belong to whom.

The Marine Corps is your family too. You may not have a mother here, but you have a shit pile of fathers, uncles, and brothers.

It's a house. No more and no less. There isn't a structure on earth that could last forever. But a family goes on."-Leo

Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I guess it all depends on what I’m wearing.

Pa extended his paw as if to say, “I’m here, and I’m human.” What else could I do but say, “Meow.

I don't care about having a lover on valentines day because all that matters to me is having a loving family for a lifetime

In the absence of a cat, I’d consider cuddling with a synthetic fur coat. Especially if your dead grandma was wearing it.

The Screamingflashed me back to a timewhen mom and dad were still togetherif you could call miles apart together.

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective