Black clothing makes me look skinnier. If I wear all black at night, and turn out the lights, I look so skinny that I disappear.

If I could adorn myself with a question, I’d wear a where. It would never go out of style, because location is everything.

That civet-jasmine blend you're wearing tonight absolutely clashes with the third-level formal style of your dress, you know.

If I were deaf, I’d wear loud clothing. My clothes would also be covered in coffee stains, because Helen Keller is my hero.

An old man with overalls walked by; I don't think old people should wear overalls; it makes them look like shrivelly toddlers.

The sundress she wanted was too expensive for me, so I bought her a moondress. It’s not as shiny, but it still makes me howl.

Good grief," said Merlin. "You look like the bastard child of Dumbledore and David Bowie. No, sorry, Dumbledore and Ziggy Stardust.

I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, which I sometimes wear with black slacks.

Fashion does not have to prove that it is serious. It is the proof that intelligent frivolity can be something creative and positive

Women want to wear what they do because of what goes on in their heads. Their size and shape have practically nothing to do with it.

Quizá mi vida no es más que una serie de momentos de vestirse y desvestirse de nuevo para la tarea en cuestión.

this blue shirt i have is practically the same color as my jeans, and looking all-blue is something only cookie monster can pull off.

As an aspiring fashion designer, and lover of human anatomy, I always wonder why nipples don’t appear on the outside of shirts.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

I had a dream I was a samurai who invented the poncho, and I sold my ponchos to Mexico. The irony is… I invented them for women.