Hairy monkeyballs!” I hiss. “Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!” A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed.“I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?

I can't believe you just did that! Are you crazy?"I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Why do people keep asking me that?"He turned to stare at me, his eyes worried. "Who else keeps asking you that? Are any of them doctors?

Electrical shivers shoot up my leg. And my knee is such a slut!She likes it! She's that friend you have. The one who you tell you're on a diet and the next day shows up with cupcakes and says, Aww, just one won't hurt.

He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. “Mmm. You smell so good.”“Oh, yeah,” I said, smirking. “I call this new perfume ‘Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.’ ”“Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.

I possess everyone who sleeps in the motor court, roam their memories, and embed recurrent nightmares that will destroy their sleep for weeks after I’ve departed them.”“I’d prefer a free continental breakfast.

Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.

Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and the missing head of a Justin Timberlake statue. Not for the sour of disposition.

She spoke throught her teeth. "Almost, dear. What were the real words you used? The bad words. It's okay to say them again, just this once." I shrugged, "fine. I said'. . . just 'cause Daddy wants you to suck on his ding-a-ling.

Why are there so many people out here?' Boomer asked as we bobbed and weaved roughly forward.'Christmas shopping.' I explained.'Already? Isn't it early to returning things?'I really had no sense of how his mind worked.

I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender!

Is it? Because that picture of me was taken by my old school's yearbook club, and they put it in the section titled 'STUDENT FAILSAUCES! XD.What's an XD?A sideways laughing face of horrendous proportions. Don't change the subject.

Not saving you from this storm, mutant,” he said. “Saving you for your later fate, we are.”His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine.“Oh, good. Yoda captured us,” Fang whispered.

I guess I make things that need energy stronger. I'm like a walking battery.""You're the table everyone wants at Starbucks," Gansey mused as he began to walk again.Blue blinked. "What?"Over his shoulder, Gansey said, "Next to the wall plug.

It's like scrying into that weird space. There's so much coming out of him, it shouldn't be possible. Do you remember that woman who came in who was pregnant with quadruplets? It was like that, but worse.""He's pregnant?" Blue asked.

You just mingled saliva with the most beautiful boy ever to tread the hallways of Saint Pock's. Saliva. There's DNA in saliva. You're like carrying his cells in your mouth like one of those weird frogs that incubates its eggs in its cheeks