You smell like a bar," he said.I thought, You smell like a library. But I wanted to have sex right then, so I said, "You smell like a poem.

A sex trophy should be functional, and shaped like a dildo, yet decorative, and shaped like Ben Bernanke. Insert it in your ass as desired.

Put some fiddle in the middle, it'll make it better. Warm your heart like an old love letter. Make you feel like the day you met her.

Dinner was good. The conversation was great, but the food was bad, so it averaged out. I wish I were as good in bed as I am in the kitchen.

We spent today sending men to hell. What's more natural than to pass the night dreaming of procreating a few more to take their place?

I was very invested in love but it was just this long sex thing that could end at any moment because after all, it's about getting off.

It seemed inequitable at best that one could and did gain a reputation for things that left one both physically and emotionally unsatisfied.

Ainda que esse instante de gozo supremo pudesse durar-vos a vida inteira, nunca os dois que sois poderíeis chegar a ser um só.

That hedge provides almost complete privacy from cars and pedestrians, and I would bet he and his wife do it more than the national average.

I have female friends that get mails from publishers that read 'Hey. I heard you write about sex. This is a very popular topic now'.

A rose is a mix of thorns with a flower, and is therefore half fuck you and half fuck me. If I gave you a dozen, would you fuck me 12 times?

I admit, that the brain does not govern the body as well as one might wish- else all men would be saints and hell would be empty of lechers.

Yes, one of the benefits of being embarrassingly rich is that you find out if you have syphilis much earlier than the average peasant would.

Because I want to have sex with him--and because that's sinful--I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny.

I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.