There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.

It’s important to have a husband that lives and believes the same way you do. Otherwise, you’re asking for problems.

A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him.

You contribute much to your marriage by the wise, thrifty, diligent management and oversight of your part of the household budget.

Put first things first and we get second things thrown in:Put second things first and we lose both first things and second things.

I cried during my wedding, but my wife did not. That’s natural, because I was losing my freedom, and she was gaining a slave.

Your commitment to follow God's plan makes a difference in the atmosphere in your home and improves the climate of your marriage.

أعظم ثروة : صحتك و زوجتك !

A Muslim must not hate his wife and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with another that is good.

If I could cook I wouldn’t have to study my ass off at school and I would have tried to find a man to support me as his lovely wife.

I have also fantasised myself to be his female slave, but this does not suffice, for after all every woman can be the slave of her husband.

I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with sharks and lawyers. Oh well, at least I got to keep the unicorn.

I couldn’t pay the prostitute, and that’s the truth. She could have asked my wife, who would have told her that I’m no cheat.

there are no houses to wife. only window seats to occupy when the weather needs changing & waters to flow past our ankles on Sundays as we fish.

I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll be displeased, because she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.