A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose him in his room.


A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than a banket?


A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.


By nature men are uncontrollable and wild, and it should be, but women have the key to control them, if they know how to use it.

A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. 


A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.


A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.


A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to help build their future.


A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so bummed out that she never calls me. 


A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism. 


A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm, right?


A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.


Monsters cannot be announced. One cannot say: 'Here are our monsters,' without immediately turning the monsters into pets.

It was great to see the owls," I said.She smiled."Yes. They're wild things, of course. Killers, savages. They're wonderful.

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.