Finally, I asked how you got a boy to like you back. She said, 'Just be yourself,' as though I had any idea who that might be.

I'm not trouble at all. I'm just a guy trying to get a girl to give him the time of day. I'm like every song on the radio.

I don't settle in any other area of my life when it comes to excellence, so why should I lower my standards when it comes to boys?

Most boys have seasons of wishing they could die gloriously instead of just being grocery clerks and going on with their humdrum lives.

Why is it that every time a girl says a guy is bothering her, it's fluffed off with oh, he just likes you, as if that makes it okay?

No, but I mean do you like him? You know, in the carnal sense."I rolled my eyes. "You've clearly been spending too much time with Dex.

When a boy's first romantic interlude is with Pheobe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life.

The dance that I wasn't going to attend in about a jillion years just turned into a make-out session with random boys we have never met.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?

The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him.

I was a boy that age once, and I know that 97.7 percent of their bodies are semen and the 2.8 percent is an incendiary device for spraying it.

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy?

Most young men are such bores. They haven't lived long enough to learn that they are not the wonders to the world they are to their mothers.

Boys, Laila came to see, treated friendship the way they treated the sun: its existence undisputed; its radiance best enjoyed, not beheld directly.

Genius or jock, it didn't seem to matter. Boys were born with a gene that kept girls, no matter how smart they might be, from understanding them.