Lay on me, and let my heat escape up to you, while you’ll act as my insulation and blanket.


A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.


A brick is a polarizing object. Especially if you find it at either the North or the South Pole. 


A blanket could be used like a friend, if you’re the sort of person who uses their friends.


A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 


A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face. 


One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


A blanket could be used as an inherently destructive force, if you can just get past the brick stage.


A brick could be used as an idol you can worship. But be careful, lest God smite thee with His wrath.


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.


A brick could be used to raise my spirits. I’m feeling low right now, low by about three inches.


I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them.