A brick could be used to illustrate your innocence. I can help you with that, because I brought a crayon. 


A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as deaf as Beethoven to enjoy it.


If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace? 


A brick could be used as one ingredient on the greedy Cake of Love. Other ingredients include: Everything.


A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia.


A brick and blanket could be used as a large slingshot, put the brick in the blanket swing it around and release.

A brick could be used in religious ceremonies. After all, it is slightly better than using live human sacrifices.

Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of death (or bricks).


A brick could be used as a basketball. And when you miss a shot, you can always shout, “Brick!”


A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.


A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a gate holding you back, man.


A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it work.


Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.


A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no gust will knock your hat off.