And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been.”–Enid Healy

What was that you gave me to eat?" Winter panicked.A Filler Crisp," Clover said, his eyes seventy percent concerned and thirty percent mischievous.

I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world’s best ventriloquist.

Sometimes no words come as a response, only shapes spring to mind. But after you tell me you love me, I can’t very well reply, “Hexagon!

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts.

I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.

How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday.

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes you live in the suburbs and you re not allowed to see your friends anymore

I mean, we're ninjas.""Well maybe you're a ninja," I said"You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we are both ninjas.

I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a taxicab ride home so I could admire my receding hairline in the mirror.

A blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like I do. 


Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles.

That's all right," she told him. "I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine."Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism.