I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

People say I got a dirty mind, I just think I’ve got a good imagination lol..

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

May you all attain full inner illumination, May the supreme light of lights enlighten your understanding.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

Don’t you wish people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.

The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival because when you are unhappy, you also throw unhappiness all around.

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.