As a rule of thumb, hitchhiking is no fun. If you’re going to stand around waiting to move, you may as well get paid to hold a pawnshop sign.

Adolescence isn't about relationships, its about dating. Its suppose to be relaxed, and fun. Isn't that what being a teenager is all about?

They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten.

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

Menkää kertomaan tuollejoka pitää itseään filosofina: Jotain sinä tiedät mutta paljosta jäät paitsi.

The purpose of any healthy relationship is to find someone that will magnify your life's experiences, not tolerate it or become a spectator of it.

He glared at Mr. Diddley’s yellow-toothed smile, and thought how he’d like to shove a toothbrush in his mouth and teach him how to use it.

He was delighted to recognize his own human name on two of the papers; he always got an odd thrill out of reading it, as if he were two places at once.

When I think of procrastination I think of masturbation. Both feel really, really good while you are doing it; but in the end, you are fucking yourself.

Live to start your stupid ideas, and start to live a life without regret--a life filled with meaning, freedom, happiness, fun, authenticity, and influence.

In retrospect, I enjoyed the time planning the program before I start. Like I say, there is more fun in the program preparation than in the program itself.

Wir sind alle ein bisschen gestorben in diesem Krieg, glaube ich. Wie meine Mutter immer gesagt hat. Krieg tötet alle, auch die, die ihn überleben.

My late summer shorts caught fire, and that’s when all the red of autumn began. We fell in love while she roasted marshmallows over my toasty genitals.

A friend comes over with a Ouija board.It spells out: Bourbon. Where’s the band?Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

Why can’t car washes be giant waterslides for cars? Speaking of fun, why can’t sex be fun, rather than something you begrudgingly pay for, like taxes.