Oh, hey, kettle, I’m pot and wow, you’re black.” - Owen

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!

Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!

Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!

When it's all said and done remember, "You are only as old as you look.

In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt

Jeez, you’re strong.” And you, Sam, are a conversational reject.

They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.

If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen>

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

I'd like to lose enough weight so that my bones creaked louder than the floo

Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.