I can t understand why people are frightened of new ideas I m frightened of the old ones

When there s a single thief it s robbery When there are a thousand thieves it s taxation

And those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who could not hear the music

Statistics are like bikinis What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form

A perfect conversation would run much less to brilliant sentences than to unfinished ones

History is principally the inaccurate narration of events which ought not to have happened

Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it s addressed to someone else

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race

If you re going to be crazy you have to get paid for it or else you re going to be locked up

There are mysteries which men can only guess at which age by age they may solve only in part

Advertising makes you think you ve wanted something all your life that you ve never heard of

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it