To be environmentally friendly, I’d ride my stationary bike to work. I hope my career works out, because it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels.

The escalator doesn’t work, and you’d think they’d still be used as stairs, but in this economic depression, even the stairs are unemployed.

The bacteriologist, often risking his life to find cures for lethal afflictions, was another kind of imperial hero, as brave in his way as the soldier-explorer.

When I found him lying in the ditch holding a shovel, I thought he was sleeping on the job. Turns out he was being even lazier, and he was in fact dead. 


Some people work to live, and other people live to work. Then some people, like me, are both unemployed and alive (at least at the time of this writing).


In a sense, discouragement does not have to exist. Allow it to be rather the encouragement to honestly reconsider all the options, then, as necessary, shine on.

I think that most artists scorned would prefer to be known as the one with the genius brain risking no career over the one with the good brain and great career.

The devil may not be interested in preventing you from knowing the undone job. What he may do is to make you think it’s somebody’s job and not yours.

When a man's bank balance becomes too small, his woman flees. For a man to do the same, his woman's body — or vagina — has to do the opposite.

Every technology will alienate you from some part of your life. That is its job. Your job is to notice. First notice the difference. And then, every time, choose.

I needed to do my current job well, keep preparing, and wait on God’s timing. I needed to trust His leadership rather than try to force an outcome I wanted.

Coffee has a way of waking me up like no alarm clock can. Not only do I sleepwalk, but I sleepdrink, and I often don’t wake up until 5:00 PM, when I leave work.

Bosses are like assholes—everybody’s got one. Well, everyone except the unemployed. But still, bosses are like assholes, in that they are assholes.


I love my career. It is a career. A difficult one that takes many hours and total dedication to my craft. It is also what I was born to do--tell stories and entertain.

I worked for one day, and left with two days in my back pocket. I couldn’t stuff them in my crotch, because my erection took up all my pants and half the kitchen.