A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.


The creator created women to control those wild, uncontrollable, intriguing men.

A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!


A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.


A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.

A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”


I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.


A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them.


I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.


I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.


A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.


Disbelief held me down inside my footsteps, making my body heavy but my heart wild.

A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn.


A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.