Conception is not some genteel, quiet pastime; it’s a fierce and unforgiving team sport.

98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren’t.

A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough. --Augustus "Gus" McCrae

It was like there was some parallel universe we all vanished off to where we had all this sex.

I didn't know till then the stars, in flakesof snow come down to fuck the earth, the lake.

Having a relationship and not even a sexual one is so straight, it's practically perverted.

Okay baby, let's take this rocket to Uranus. This hoor is perfect, and she can act as well.

Hot, hard and so thick that her fingertips didn't meet when she closed her hand around him.

It's like an itch, isn't it? You can feel it in your throat. You want to scream for me.

What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse.

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick?

You feel bad about yelling in a graveyard after you just tried to have sex with me in a church?

Forget cloning. I can make people. It’s called sex, and it’s more fun than science.

I’ll see a tree and be reminded of her. So I’ll have to go have sex with that tree.

We had sex by the fireplace. I remember because my waxy nipples started dripping on the carpet.