Sadly, I have to admit, my timing sucks. Not the best - or most romantic - idea to tell your woman "I love you" for the first time whilst impaling the crap out of her.

Dear God, if I made it through this alive and conscious, my name deserved to be added to some X-rated category in the Guinness Book of World Records or something.-Emma

He stared at me in complete puzzlement, “And while I’m committing incest for you is there anything else you’d like? Maybe a side-order of bestiality?

You know, my poor grandmother once told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Life has taught me that it’s actually a few inches lower.

Sex is one of those things that's complete loss of control. You give yourself up, in your most vulnerable state, to another person, and they give themselves to you.

Sex is about physical attraction, yes, but it's also about trust. I don't trust you. You're completely self-absorbed and egoistic. You offer nothing I want.

Pure sex is masturbation with a real partner who functions as a prop for our indulging in fantasies, while it is only through love that we can reach the … Other.

I slept and the night rolled over into day like a dog. Another post-meridian awakening - sunshine on empty bottles, tangled clothes. I dozed while the temperature rose.

Not only can I teach you math, I can teach you math in bed, Jordan. You know, I'll add the bed, you subtract the clothes, you divide the legs, and I'll multiply

He knew what she wanted, and he wanted it, too; he was ready, but not, despite her gorgeousness, with Tiglah. Tiglah was not worth losing his ability to touch a unicorn.

I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.

Satan's warming me a throne, that's how long [I've been watching you]. Not a chair, not a seat at the bar. The big guy's got a throne with my name on it.

Everyone loves it, everyone wants it, But someone who has enough guts to take it are considered as sluts...Why? Why does world has to be full of double-faced hypocrites?

One thing I've learned in all these years is not to make love when you really don't feel it; there's probably nothing worse you can do to yourself than that.

Because, in an empty bedroom with creaky old wood floors, it is a natural human response to just stand there and shift your weight from foot to foot, and think about sex.