A brick could be used as a basketball. And when you miss a shot, you can always shout, “Brick!”


A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.

Cats are living, breathing blankets. But a blanket, no matter how furry, cannot be used like a purrless cat.


A brick could be used as a paperweight, if the words you wrote weren’t weighty enough to hold it down.


A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no gust will knock your hat off.


Weerd is a weird way to write weird, but seemingly more normal than weird. Also, hate is a weird way to write love.

I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice It s like an overwhelming feeling that I can t even explain

A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.


A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?


A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams. 


A blanket could be used to cover up the bald spot all over my chest. That’s why I get so cold at night.


A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!


A brick could be used to monitor earthquakes. If the brick crumbles apart, you can bet an earthquake occurred.


A brick could be used as a blanket, if you’re a roach or politician. Warmth can be so crushing at times.


I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.