A brick could be used in place of a parachute, and a blanket could be used as a permanent wall of a house. In both cases, the skydiver and home dweller would ideally be a politician.


A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s merely heartburn, and you’re just as common as a brick.


A blanket could be hung on your living room wall, and watched instead of nightly news. Not only would it be more honest, but it also would be more entertaining and thought provoking.


A brick could be used to sell pepper to people in the salt mines. So while you’re busy selling pepper to the salty and sweaty workers, I’ll be selling them bottled water.


Bricks could be used as words in the saying of a mason. When words and actions match up, you have a structure people could live in. It's a lot to live up to, and a lot to live in.


A blanket could be used as a makeshift trampoline, to attract midgets to your picnic. The great thing about dining with dwarves, is since they are little people, they eat very little.


A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.


A blanket could be used to sell two-legged tables to one-legged men. This very same blanket could also teach them some Latin—specifically the phrase “Caveat Emptor.”


A brick would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmas—especially if you chisel it out of the fireplace the stocking is hanging from. Let the homeowner know how much you care.


Sanity is to the mind, insanity is for the heart,Docility is to the mind, wildness is to the heart,Tamable is the mind, Untamable is the heart,Freedom is to the mind, cages are for the heart.

A brick could be used to help you write the book you’ve always wanted to write. That is, if you wanted to write a book on masonry with a target market of two—your parents. 


A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.


A brick could be used to illustrate the seriousness of the situation. You’ll know I’m not playing when I display a brick. Shit’s getting real up in here, motherfucker.


A brick could be used as bait for the vampire shark. Since nobody’s ever seen a vampire shark, let alone caught one, I think it would be unreasonable to dismiss the idea entirely.


A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who I am as a person, you need some mortar and a pillow.