Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

It’s Friday, remember that bad decisions = the best stories.

“You look pretty today.” … Was I ugly yesterday?

I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.

He already ruined your mascara, don’t let him ruin your life.

I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I’m a cereal killer?

Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

Dear Lord Voldemort, all you have to do is LIE. Sincerely, Pinochio.

Internet always seems way more interesting when you have work to do.

I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you about 5 times.

If you tYpE LiKe ThiZz, you deserve to be smacked with a dictionary.

Mirrors can’t talk & lucky for you they can’t laugh.