I don’t mind the rat race. But I could do with a little more cheese.

Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but I love you now.

Welcome to Hollister, would you like earplugs, a gasmask, or a flashlight?

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

I act as everything’s fine, but underneath it all I’m screaming.

Bored ? Goes to kitchen ? Opens fridge ? Looks inside ? Leaves empty handed.

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

If I could remember school work like I remember lyrics I’d be a genius.

I love doing my laundry and finding money that I didn’t even know I had.

I wish I could press fast forward, just to see if you’re worth the wait.

I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.

Saying nevermind when you’re just too lazy to re-explain the whole story.

My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.

When a movie says “based on a true story ” it gets 10 times scarier.

If the world ends in 2012, I’ve wasted my entire life in school. Wonderful.