Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn’t really hurt.

Marcus and Ellie exchanged a worried look and examined the bag again. Sure enough, the gold was gone.

[sic] his reaction was a sign of civilization. Nobody reaches for a gun anymore, just for his lawyer.

So such is life that it writes itself, trying to right itself, but there's nothing wrong with it.

Suddenly, she employed those very English weapons: devious good manners and a rapid change of subject.

Thank heaven for people who are satisfied with facts that conform to the reality they wish to believe.

I'm a survivor, " I said. But I didn't think that claim would carry much weight in an obituary.

The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.

Creio que todo o homem ama sempre a mulher a quem está a beijar, ainda que seja por desespero,...

But that's men all over ... Poor dears, they can't help it. They haven't got logical minds.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?

I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

That was the last cruel irony of Tobias’s life: that he doomed the woman he would have died to save.