A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. 


A brick could be used like a giraffe could be used as a neck warmer. You could also use my foreskin. 


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.


I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them. 


I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time.

A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey.


my jeans, the ones I got from the teen section, the ones made for chicks. And I look fucking perfect in them.

A brick could replace your window, if your window’s opaque, and you throw the brick hard enough.


A brick could be used to sway the voters. But if you really want to sway them, try using a catchy song.


Must always try to be out thereGetting everything out thereTake what is inside yourselfAnd place it out there.

A brick could be used as a flashlight. What, still dark? Check the batteries, because they may be dead. 


A blanket could be used to mimic the mating call of my crumpled-up clone. Isn’t silence seductive?


Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.


The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?