To fly is to swim in the air, and a brick could be used as an as example to highlight man’s failure to fishbird.


A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate the previous highs of the housing market.


I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously like a brick. The gravy is a blanket.


It was at the outskirts of the world that the Old Things accumulated, like driftwood round the edges of the sea. ("The Troll")

Love happens to some people, sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. I’m a person like those people.

I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain.

A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.

A brick could be used to practice your telepathic levitation. If you can lift the brick, you’ll lift your spirits.


He's my father, whoever he is, so he must have had sex with my mother at least once, and I'd love to kill him for that.

He's my father, whoever he is, so he must have had sex with my mother at least once, and I'd love to kill him for that.

A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose him in his room.


A blanket could be used as a spy, because if you need to blend in and go under cover, what’s better than a banket?


A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.


Weird people don't care if they're weird. They are the most entertaining to converse with because nothing is off-limits.

A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.