My armpits are not only rank, but they’re ranked number one in customer satisfaction. Try them for free or your money back.

A brick could be used as a measurement of time Yes just think how stylish you ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist 8232;

Hey, that’s why they in­vented the In­ter­net, her­manita. To talk about weird shit and down­load porn.

A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. 


A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.


A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to help build their future.


A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so bummed out that she never calls me. 


A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism. 


A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm, right?


A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.


After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

A brick could be used like a Viking skull holds soup. If you bring a spoon, I can quench your thirst—and your hunger. 


All forms of madness, bizarre habits, awkwardness in society, general clumsiness, are justified in the person who creates good art.

I'm drawn to unusual, even freakish people. Why? They are far more engaging than the ordinary, which the world has too much of.

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.