A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.


A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it work.


Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.


Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of death (or bricks).


A brick could be used as a basketball. And when you miss a shot, you can always shout, “Brick!”


A brick should decide who gets to rule the people, and I should decide what rules determine whom the brick favors.

Cats are living, breathing blankets. But a blanket, no matter how furry, cannot be used like a purrless cat.


A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no gust will knock your hat off.


A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.


A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?


A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams. 


A brick could be used as a paperweight, if the words you wrote weren’t weighty enough to hold it down.


A blanket could be used to cover up the bald spot all over my chest. That’s why I get so cold at night.


Tearing your clothes, burning your books and torturing yourself only prove that you are nothing but a wild creature.

A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!