One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.


A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.


A brick could be traded for a soon-to-be abandoned baby. Let’s build a better future together.


A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.


A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.


Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.


A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate. 


A brick could be used like a giraffe could be used as a neck warmer. You could also use my foreskin. 


A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.


I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them. 


A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey.


If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic.

A brick could replace your window, if your window’s opaque, and you throw the brick hard enough.


She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city

A brick could be used to sway the voters. But if you really want to sway them, try using a catchy song.