I want to do something spontaneous, like combust.

A friend doesn`t go on a diet because you are fat

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

I caught a fish with a deep voice. It was a bass.

Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept

I Google myself to find out who I am as a person.

A blanket could be used to wrap up a case.


I m writing a book I ve got the page numbers done

I d like to live as a poor man with lots of money

Injuries heal, but wrinkles are the scars of time.

This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel!

If you can t beat them arrange to have them beaten

Jewelry takes people's minds off your wrinkles

Don’t lick the guests, darling. Bad manners.

The way taxes are you might as well marry for love