Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.

Irony - The modern mode: either the devil’s mark or the snorkel of sanity.

I am waiting for the war to be fought which will make the world safe for anarchy

You have to understand, having a good time is not my idea of having a good time.

Nobody these days holds the written word in such high esteem as police states do.

As a rule,I believe people shouldn't follow rules;rules should follow people.

When people say there is no place like home, the first to agree are the homeless.

Mundane, boring stories--not interesting ones--are the ideal in an operating room.

Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?

Life, here I come!' he said. And was immediately and fatally run over by a bus.

Maybe illusion and artifice—lies, even—are a necessary part of romance.

I've often heard it said, a preacherMight learn, with a comedian for a teacher.

Honestly, I don't understand why people get so worked up about a little murder!

We give up our power to the very people who took it away from us in the first place.

The ironist is ironical not because he does not care, but because he cares too much.