I want to make you hold onto that bag while I bury myself in you so hard and so deep you don't know your own name. -Nick Rixey

Second place is twice as good as first place, when you’re competing to put another person first. Losers make the best lovers.

You know what?” he whispered, out of breath, “You’re about to be in a whole lot of trouble. We probably better go.

To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch.

I looked at an angel today, but the angel could not see me. The angel was more amazing than beautiful, like the best forgotten dream.

He lies on the couch all day watching television. I admire his classic American ambition. He’s probably a better lover than me.

I love you" he said. I did not say anything. What could I say? If i said i love you too, i had perpetual punishment for being a liar.

Who’d win in a fight, a tongue twister, or a tornado? How about who’d make a better lover in a diaper, me or Cupid?


He had short hair. The technical term is bald. I’m sure he would have made a better lover if he were wearing a Donald Trump wig.

New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on ‪#‎LoversLane‬.

Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look exactly the same as me.

The serenity of the lulling ocean is a wondrous thing to behold..more precious than the gems coveted and covered in platinum or gold...

A road that’s narrower than the width of my car’s wheels could only be lover’s lane. Hitchhikers make the best lovers.

You are my reality, fantasy, daydream, fairytale, music, more than the princess in Cinderella; you are much more than a traditional myth.

Sometimes life decides that we must also take care of ourselves in other ways and love, the way we perceive it, must reflect only upon us.