I always start peeing when I’m only halfway to the litter box. This eagerness to finish is what probably makes me such a great lover.

A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman.

I vacuumed my piano, hoping to soak up the last of the concertos. I should sell musical sponges, for the lover in the kitchen in all of us.

Derrick, you have to make the air move out of her tummy. You are not assaulting her. You're saving her from a stomach ache. ~Anne Howard

Good lovers understand each other. Better lovers respect each other. Best lovers live to trust each other. Great lovers dwell in each other.

I leave my door locked and unlocked. You know, for stopportunities. As a lover, I’ve been known—and unknown—to be like Zeno.

For being so ugly, I think God should reward me handsomely. He should give me the tender hands of a lover—and not those of a self-lover.

A man's love for a woman is not defined by his availability in bed, but by every ingredient he adds to improve the taste of the relationship.

A rocking chair in the middle of a boxing ring. You know, for the lover in the fighter. Also as something more entertaining than watching boxing.

I got you a box full of unfull. I know I shouldn’t have, but that’s why I should have. As a lover, I always leave you hungry for more.

You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers.

I found a bra in a bar. Guess when? Anagram Night! It’s the one day of the year that’s truly for lovers. It’s also for a solver.

Love is an admiration that comes with patience. Lust is an admiration that comes with impatience. In all, admiration is common but patience is not!

I had a dream about you. I’ll bet you are a much better lover in real life, and I hope your prices aren’t as high as I imagined.


Di mana pun dia berada. Dan kuharap dia tahu bahwa selama aku masih bernafas, aku akan selalu mencintainya. Sepenuh hatiku. Selamanya. -Alex Hirano