Those are my principles and if you don t like them well I have others

In examinations the foolish ask questions that the wise cannot answe

Sheep hurt my father, and through my father, sheep have also hurt me.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office

Behind the waterfall of love you’ll find me, hiding in a barrel.

Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down

Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another in case it doesn t rain

Bring on hyperinflation! I want to be a millionaire with minimal work.

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

Most of the gaffes I ve made have not been funny - they ve been stupid

Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.