MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.”“Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.

Reading is the noblest of all the hobbies, that is why people mention it so frequently in their resume even if they don't read much.

Archbishop: "God is with us!"William the Great : "Bishop, if God is with us, then he is not with them, congratulations!We are victorious!

I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life.

I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Unger Games" If your meals depend on you beating the Seahawks, you're gonna go "'Unger-y.

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.

I never intended to become a zombie huntress; I had only intended to protest prom, high school’s last bastion of patriarchal society.

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors

Mew - mew. Mew.” I jump back from her finger swipes. “I am fluent in pussy, but I have no idea what this fucking means, Georgia.

Of course, Jules was not a wolf. She was an elephant. But Jules was a very young toy and she had never been to school to learn the difference.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s you.