The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.

One day she was going to be found dead mid-hump on a polyurethane phallus

Sleeping with a woman is easy. Loving her is an entirely different thing.

I make love like a can opener. Will you be my Spaghetti O’s?


Hey, you’re the one who can’t stand me being so close to you.

Looking through the ruby glass one cannot see the true colour of the sky.

Water quench thirsts, food quenches hunger while sex quenches lust or love

I've had Good and I've had Bad, and the worst I had was Wonderful!

With tybo men there isn't much difference between fucking and killing.

Life is like sex. It’s not always good, but its always worth trying.

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Sex can be estranging; it can drive two otherwise compatible people apart.

The only thing better than being productive, is being reproductive.


I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.


He wanted to be loved and cherished, yes. But he also wanted to be fucked.