My love is self-contained, like chips in a bag. Don’t eat it all at once.

When I go out to eat at restaurants, I don’t like chains. I prefer whips.

I made her a bathing suit—out of saran wrap. We made love like leftovers.

Eaters of Wonder BreadMust be underbred.So little to eat.Where's the wheat?

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

We moderns are great compartmentalizers, perhaps never more so than when hungry.

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.

...the winter is kind and leaves red berries on the boughs for hungry sparrows...

The idea is to make the ingredients sing, not a grand opera, but a jolly chanson.

I could make dinner with one hand. Especially if I was serving Masturbation Stew.

¿Cómo puede uno comer cuando el corazón está ocupado?

Out of love I made you a cake. Also out of milk, eggs, flour, sugar, and vanilla.

A burnt and experienced hands are more important than the vessels in the kitchen.

She asked for soup, and I served her cereal. Our love was in the breakfast stage.

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.