It is the deep, salty stickiness of food that intrigues me more than any other quality.

When life gives you lemons, sell them and buy a pineapple. How to better your life 101.

Share your food with the needy and you shall see that your food will taste much better!

God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it.

To most Americans, a dog is a potential mate. To some Chinese, a dog is potential meat.

a man who was, as we say in the restaurant business, one taco short of a combo platter.

Pamper a tomato, overfeed it, overwater it and you will get a Paris Hilton of a tomato.

Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.

1 billion people in the world are chronically hungry. 1 billion people are overweight.

Like pornography, junk [food] might be tough to define but you know it when you see it.

Life is one percent what happens to you, and ninety-nine percent how you respond to it.

Many a one has been comforted in their sorrow by seeing a good dish come upon the table.

I loved her like meatloaf. Our love was the kind covered in ketchup—and not gravy.

I finally figured out the big, elusive secret to weight loss. Don't eat! Who knew?

Eating a salad (in public) is an overweight person’s attempt to appear in control.