You know you are a geek when you look at a movie trailer and think I have that font

Late night TV is very educational It teaches that we should have gone to bed earlie

Holidays make you feel good enough to return to work And so poor that you re forced to

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers why are they all still working?

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it

Sometimes I ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is

Many actresses won t wear a dress that s not original but they ll take a secondhand husband

If strippers are now called-Exotic Dancers Shouldn t drug dealers be called Exotic Pharmacists?

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights Now it looks like I m the only one moving

Cloud nine gets all the publicity but cloud eight actually is cheaper less crowded and has a better view

Everyone knows what a hypocrite is That s the guy who gripes about the sex violence and nudity on his VCR

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don t want to have to restart my collection again

Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good