I’m so glad my date doesn’t think I’m ugly. I love blind dates where the woman is actually blind.


A broke man’s lover doesn’t feel ‘loved’ on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine’s Day.

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are If you show up in a masquerade outfit neither is going to happen

Don’t you think it’s a bad sign that your best argument for your beau is that nothing has been proved in court?

A wedding is a ceremony men fund with money they know they don’t have … to prove the love they think they have.

You didn't date someone to change him. You dated him because you wanted him for the way he was. Flaws and fears and all.

When you end a chapter in your book of 'Wrong Men,' don't close the book of your love story, just turn the page.

I never know what I’m going to want to curl up in bed with.” I shrug.“How about a man?” she retorts.

Hmmm. What you’re saying is that you’ve never been kissed?” He picked at a string on the blanket under us.

Katie, honey, you need a date for your sister’s wedding.”“I had a date, Mom. He’s marrying the bride.

The perfect date for me would be staying at home making a big picnic in bed eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV

I rewired my brain. Now every time I feel disappointment I orgasm. So go on a date or get stood up, either way I’ll cum.

Maybe love is something we’re meant to say casually and not regard as a prize from a treasure chest that a person earns.

Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man's last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.

Some say "fear even helps like; The flight or over love reaction but to me it is your loving heart to prove to prove it worthy.