I could kiss that girl. And ya know what? I will kiss that girl. As soon as I get back to school, I'm gonna grab her, and I'm gonna kiss her.

Love is bringing an empty Tupperware container on your date, not to hold leftovers from dinner, but just in case your date really has to shit.


It s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married there is something that is not very dignified about talking about who you are dating

Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man’s access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

All those men who end up disappointing you. After a while, you don't even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get on with your life.

We have better relationships with those who truly seek us rather than those sitting on the couch watching us move mountains trying to prove ourselves.

When you decide to meet—in person—someone that you met online, would you then be taking your relationship to the 'previous' level?

We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling.

Sometimes it's not that you "fell out of love" it's that you finally came to the realization that you were never truly "in love" to begin with.

I know some women go in for excitement and danger. It must make them feel more alive. It's my professional judgment that you're a dangerous man.

If love wasn’t conditional, every single first encounter with individuals of your 'preferred' gender would result in *love at first sight.*

A circular table that spins around is a great way to make a romantic dinner for two with three people less awkward. I’ll pay for myself, I promise.

Relationships are not additive, but multiplicative because you connect with his/her childhood experiences, past relationships, thoughts on money and more.

It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.

You're like a half-tamed creature, still shy of the bridle. 'Except you enthrall me, never shall be free.' But freedom is an illusion, anyway.