Hello, I’d like to introduce you to my friend, karma. She’s a bitch.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid.

When your parents leave you in the car alone, everybody outside becomes a rapist.

I’m an airhead and a clutz all rolled up in one, but I’m a lot of fun

Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

The most terrifying question a woman can ask a man is: Notice anything different?

Whoever invented the “copy and paste” has saved many hours of my life.

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

Cartoons: The only places you can wear the same thing every day, and nobody cares.

We live in the “WTF” Generation W: Wikipedia, T: Twitter, F: Facebook.

Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. You’re amazing.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Crayola just added a new color to there crayon box its called jersey shore orange.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.