It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded.

Mal snickered. "What's so funny?""I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.

If you’re from a town called Away, when you’re home, you’re Away. But when you’re away, you’re not home.

What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

He had waited until I had my door open, then driven away. The perfect gentleman. Sort of like Dracula just before he drank your blood.

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

I lost a horse today.''That sounds careless. What happened?''She jumped off a cliff.''A cliff! Is that normal?

Wait a second," Clary said."I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere.

Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house It worked The more vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked

I had a dream about you last night.. You thought you were a candy vampire, you were standing in the sun screaming 'I'm melting.

In order to keep a true perspective of one s importance everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him

She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.

I got hired by a newspaper to write a column on current events, so I wrote about Benjamin Franklin’s charting of the Gulf Stream.