In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.

Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!I'm blind!

I hate when women give me that look. That overlook.

Classic - a book which people praise and don t read

Nerd life is just so much better than regular life.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers.

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt.

What s the use of happiness? It can t buy you money

It may be prodigious, but it's all Greek to me!

What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep

Laughter is the closest distance between two people

Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears.