Never buy anything with a handle on it It means work

I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.

Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones.

Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.

If fucking up is power, I should be the Hulk by now.

No one here is allowed to die without my permission.

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

Sure there s no i in team but there is an m and an e

I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children

Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?

It s easy to distract fat people It s a piece of cake

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with