A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?


A man never tells you anything until you contradict him

The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever.

If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words

One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley.

If I were a lawyer, I’d only date women named Sue.

Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.

I ve been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog

I want to reach your mind Where is it currently located?

If the retreat house was a trap, it was a very nice one.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy

I m not a very good writer but I m an excellent rewrite

I love the world, just, you know...not the people in it.