When the food runs out, the family reunion is over. It’s cool that out of all my relatives, I’m the only cannibal.

The Paradox of Sustenance: For an organism’s life to be continued; another organism’s life has to be discontinued.

I went to a potluck. I brought my own pot—and luck. The pot was empty, just like my promise to bring food the next time.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

There should be a soup spoon on the end of fire truck ladders, because fires do nothing if they don’t warm up leftovers.

It is hard to convince people of this, but oatmeal truly is miraculous. It gives you an amazing amount of energy, like cocaine.

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.

Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.

Food didn't kill people, for God's sake, people killed people. With their harping, and criticizing, and careful living.

You, as a food buyer, have the distinct privilege of proactively participating in shaping the world your children will inherit.

I know for an absolute fact that if I ate a meal at one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants, I would be able to taste his anger.

Civilization transformed man from a food gatherer to a gatherer of pieces of paper: diplomas, employment contracts, money, etc.

I would advocate that chocolate be covered by health insurance, but that is admittedly a very French public policy perspective.

She’d have to treat the interview more like risotto than instant rice, adding ingredients gradually while stirring gently.

Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you come back with the ketchup.