A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 


Working hard is a fool's anthem, getting others to work for you is the motto for every successful man.

It's almost never the kind of person you are but the kind of job you do decides how much you get paid.

I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.


Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will keep Kleenex in business.

I can’t do my job, if you don’t do yours. I also can’t do my job, so can you do mine too?

Job tip: If you were the employer, what kind of person would you most desire as an employee? Be that person.

I got tapped for the job position. As soon as I felt it on my shoulder, I turned around and my boss told me.

I’m such a good salesman that I sold my sales job. I sold it for ten I love yous and a bag of fellatio.

Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it.

I always like to be in the presence of people who are good at and love their jobs, Irrespective of their jobs.

I work for a mom and pop business. They’re my mom and pop, and my paycheck is called my “Allowance.

The employed are punished by having to do what they do not love. The self-employed are punished by the opposite.

Wenn man es geschafft hat, Respekt vor dem Job zu entwickeln, ist der Rücktritt nur die logische Konsequenz.

If you think my current job is boring, you should see the sleeper I did before. (I worked as a mattress salesman.)