We made love. With our hands. Then we sold it to cars stopped at the red light.


Life is like a dry handjob. Just when it starts getting good, it’s already over.

Sex was never as neat as the movies made it. Real sex was messy. Good sex was messier.

I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand...if I'm holding a calculator.

Beneath my dress is a ladder of desire,that I climb tonight and each night after that.

With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.

Marital sex is a divine sympony between two people , and God is leading the orchestra .

She would have been a better fuck in Greece, maybe. America was a shitty place to fuck.

I have no use for your body, for within its youth lies a rotten wench already deceased.

They seemed to be together as one, somewhere else in a place that was lighter than air.

I been talkin' with my buddy, and he thinks I'm virgin enough fer the two of us.

A frequent exchange of text messages is not a relationship. It's not even a pen-pal.

Man cannot be homophobic without having concerned himself with another’s sex life.

Her mouth was soft and moist, and she came to me like a dachshund jumping into your lap.

Love is all the dirty little tricks you taught me that you probably got out of some book.